Today.

This is a funny day. I am awful at studying. The sky is blue and the sun is shining onto the glistening snow. The library is quiet, but distracting nonetheless. I am laughing at everything and nothing. Maybe it has something to do with the 16oz. Freshbrew and then the 16oz. Carmel Macchiato that I drank already today.
So much on my mind, but none of it holds even the slightest desire to study for my Gerontology test tomorrow. It is a shame. I used to be so good at studying and now all that occupies my thoughts are relationships and God’s calling on my life. I am to be a student for the time being, but time and again little snippets of the bigger picture creep in and leave me astounded that the God of all creation could want me. But he does. He loves me and he has shown that to me in so many ways.
I was thinking the other day about when I first realized His love. When I first really believed that He loved me and I stopped passing by it as nothing more than a pretty image that I had no part of. I first saw it through the tangible relationships that I formed my first semester of college. It was displayed between the nine of us on Carmin 2N. It was such an immediate and confusing bond. We are nothing alike aside from our common bond of following Christ, but God has shown his love through these girls in immense ways. Without them, I can scarcely imagine what my life would be like. I came from such despair and loneliness into a community of opposite personalities who share a similar heart for the world. What a blessing they have been these last two and a half years.
As I have struggled this year to determine God’s calling on my life concerning Zambia, they have prayed for me and encouraged me. It tears me apart to think about leaving them next year, but within that heartache I feel the most overwhelming peace. I am finally following God and leaving behind all that I know. It will be hard and it will be uncomfortable, but I know that with His power inside of me, it is possible. Nothing is impossible with Him.
At times, the enormity of God presence on this campus causes me to stop and catch my breath because it is so easy for me to go about my business and forget to notice His fingerprints. When I am reminded of Him in everyday moments, I rejoice. His kingdom is evident in the simplest things in life. We need each other; there is no doubt about that. I thank Him for making me a communal being. What would life be without friends?